If your calendar is full but your life feels empty… read this.
We praise efficiency like it’s self-worth. But no amount of planning apps or Sunday resets will fix what’s really wrong: the misalignment between your daily schedule and the joy that you need and deserve to experience.
I remember when I started my PhD program in 2018. My kids were my oldest was 3 and our twins were 8 months old.
As you can imagine, I was overwhelmed all the time. And I NEVER felt like I was doing enough. 😔
My mental health was trash. I felt wholly inadequate when working on my endless to-do list because I was managing graduate school, teaching as a graduate assistant, and being a married mom to young children.
Eventually I realized that there was one main reason I was misaligned…
I needed to give myself the time and space for creative expression.
That’s when I decided to finally start the personal development podcast that I’d always wanted to create (presently known as the Her Guided Evolution® Podcast).
Working on my podcast and giving myself the space to be creative was so grounding!
The joy I felt from being creative and intentionally putting tasks on my to-do list that I WANTED to do made all the difference for my morale and motivation.
So, in my experience, when you feel overwhelmed, “off”, exhausted, and like your life is one big obligation…
Here’s what’s actually going on:
⏳ The Productivity Trap
- You may be holding yourself to an unrealistic standard (i.e., toxic societal standards about women needing to “balance.”)
Women are bombarded with this discourse telling you that you can and should “have it all”. The husband (because the cookie cutter standards are always heteronormative), the career, the kids, and you’re “supposed” to be able to balance it all. These are unrealistic standards on a personal level AND a practical level. The “balancing” is an unrealistic expectation on a personal level because you only have but so much capacity on a given day. It’s unrealistic on a practical level because we (in the United States), we live in a culture of individualism. That means many of us are often forced to navigate motherhood with limited support and women are often the default caregivers. If you’re like a lot of women, you’re probably managing A LOT with fewer resources than you actually need. You should be congratulated for that rather than made to feel like you’re inadequate. - You’re managing time but ignoring your capacity.
You arrange your day solely based on deadlines or the things that you “have” to do. You may not be scheduling tasks during your peak creative hours, and you’re probably working at odd hours trying to finish everything. This can fuel a cycle of overwhelm where you are constantly playing catch-up.
- You’re avoiding emotional clutter
Sometimes we stay “busy” to avoid the bigger decisions. I know for me, I procrastinated on starting my podcast for SO long because of fear. It was easier to fill my to-do list with school, assistantship, and home life tasks than it was to follow through on my dream of starting a personal development brand because it felt (and still feels) scary.
💡 Realignment > Productivity
I’m a firm believer that taking time to be creative, even just a few minutes a day, is one small thing you can do to feel less exhausted and overwhelmed. I know. It may sound counterintuitive because you may feel like you don’t have time for the things you feel like you have to do. BUT in my experience this works because you are giving your brain free space. You’re allowing yourself to
So, take this as your sign to start the podcast, take that pottery class, start painting again, or whatever creative expression feels most aligned with this season of your life.
Try these steps instead:
- Choose a creative activity that you feel drawn to intuitively. This may be something from your childhood or just something that you’ve always wanted to try or start. If you need ideas, you can grab my free resource, 36 Solo Date Ideas to Reset and Realign for inspiration.
- Identify what season of life you’re in. Maybe you’re going through a period where you need stillness and self-compassion. Or maybe you just need to stop playing and start that THING you’ve always wanted to do or create that THING you wished existed.
- Declutter your time blocks with radical honesty and intention (e.g., ask yourself, “what is something I actually want to do?”).
🎯 Need support here?
My 1:1 coaching program helps you reclaim your time and your sense of self, especially during life transitions. Start with a 1-hour Realignment Session.
📌 Pin this post if you’re ready to stop managing time and start honoring your rhythm
