You set up your planner. You picked your morning routine. And for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, it felt good. But then life happened, and now you’re back in that uncomfortable in-between: craving structure but resisting it at the same time.

I’ve been there. Back in 2020, I ran my first half marathon. I was a graduate student at the time, and running gave me a sense of accomplishment that helped me stay on track with school and everything else I was managing.

Fast forward to 2024, I was now a tenure-track professor with kids who were now in elementary school. My husband, who is an avid runner, even made a training schedule for me. So, I set out to run another half marathon. 

BUT I kept flaking whenever it was time to train. 

I was so frustrated with myself! I kept thinking that consistency and training should be easier because I’ve done this before! 

But the truth is, I was past the season of life where running was the exercise that worked best for me. I didn’t have the time and space to train for a marathon while managing three kids and a full-time job.

So, I decided to switch to weight lifting, which took considerably less time, and it was much easier for me to be consistent with it. 

Here’s what I’ve learned about trying to stick to habits and why we often fall off even when we have the best intentions:

Why You Keep Falling Off Track

1. You’re trying to force someone else’s rhythm.
   Not all routines are created for your energy, season, or life. Just like I did with my half marathon training the second time around, I couldn’t stick to it because it was my rhythm 5 years ago and did not fit my current station in life.
   
2. You’re using routine as a tool for control—not care.
   When structure is rooted in fear or performance, it becomes unsustainable. I felt like I HAD to run another half marathon because I‘d committed to it and because my husband made my training scheudle—not for my overall wellness.
   
3. You’re bypassing the emotional layer.
   Routines require safety. And if your nervous system is in fight-or-flight, structure can feel suffocating. What emotions may be driving your inability to follow through?
   

What To Do Instead

• Redefine routines as rituals of care, not productivity or obligation.
  
• Design minimum viable rituals you can return to without guilt (e.g., I am going to at least lift weights for 10 minutes 3 days/week to build momentum).
  
• Start with seasonal alignment, not unrealistic consistency (e.g., what can you do right now that fits with your lifestyle and current goals?)
  

Need help building rituals that stick?

Inside my Realignment Session, we map out what structure actually feels nourishing for your life. Not just what looks good on Pinterest. Book a Realignment Session now.

Pin this post for the next time you want to restart without starting over.

We praise efficiency like it’s self-worth. But no amount of planning apps or Sunday resets will fix what’s really wrong: the misalignment between your daily schedule and the joy that you need and deserve to experience.

I remember when I started my PhD program in 2018. My kids were my oldest was 3 and our twins were 8 months old. 

As you can imagine, I was overwhelmed all the time. And I NEVER felt like I was doing enough.

My mental health was trash. I felt wholly inadequate when working on my endless to-do list because I was managing graduate school, teaching as a graduate assistant, and being a married mom to young children.

Eventually I realized that there was one main reason I was misaligned…

I needed to give myself the time and space for creative expression. 

That’s when I decided to finally start the personal development podcast that I’d always wanted to create (presently known as the Her Guided Evolution® Podcast). 

Working on my podcast and giving myself the space to be creative was so grounding!

The joy I felt from being creative and intentionally putting tasks on my to-do list that I WANTED to do made all the difference for my morale and motivation.

So, in my experience, when you feel overwhelmed, “off”, exhausted, and like your life is one big obligation…

Here’s what’s actually going on:

The Productivity Trap

1. You may be holding yourself to an unrealistic standard (i.e., toxic societal standards about women needing to “balance.”)
   Women are bombarded with this discourse telling you that you can and should “have it all”. The husband (because the cookie cutter standards are always heteronormative), the career, the kids, and you’re “supposed” to be able to balance it all. These are unrealistic standards on a personal level AND a practical level. The “balancing” is an unrealistic expectation on a personal level because you only have but so much capacity on a given day. It’s unrealistic on a practical level because we (in the United States), we live in a culture of individualism. That means many of us are often forced to navigate motherhood with limited support and women are often the default caregivers. If you’re like a lot of women, you’re probably managing A LOT with fewer resources than you actually need. You should be congratulated for that rather than made to feel like you’re inadequate.
2. You’re managing time but ignoring your capacity.
   You arrange your day solely based on deadlines or the things that you “have” to do. You may not be scheduling tasks during your peak creative hours, and you’re probably working at odd hours trying to finish everything. This can fuel a cycle of overwhelm where you are constantly playing catch-up.

3. You’re avoiding emotional clutter
   Sometimes we stay “busy” to avoid the bigger decisions. I know for me, I procrastinated on starting my podcast for SO long because of fear. It was easier to fill my to-do list with school, assistantship, and home life tasks than it was to follow through on my dream of starting a personal development brand because it felt (and still feels) scary. 

Realignment > Productivity

I’m a firm believer that taking time to be creative, even just a few minutes a day, is one small thing you can do to feel less exhausted and overwhelmed. I know. It may sound counterintuitive because you may feel like you don’t have time for the things you feel like you have to do. BUT in my experience this works because you are giving your brain free space. You’re allowing yourself to

So, take this as your sign to start the podcast, take that pottery class, start painting again, or whatever creative expression feels most aligned with this season of your life.

Try these steps instead:

• Choose a creative activity that you feel drawn to intuitively. This may be something from your childhood or just something that you’ve always wanted to try or start. If you need ideas, you can grab my free resource, 36 Solo Date Ideas to Reset and Realign for inspiration.
• Identify what season of life you’re in. Maybe you’re going through a period where you need stillness and self-compassion. Or maybe you just need to stop playing and start that THING you’ve always wanted to do or create that THING you wished existed.
• Declutter your time blocks with radical honesty and intention (e.g., ask yourself, “what is something I actually want to do?”).

Need support here?
My 1:1 coaching program helps you reclaim your time and your sense of self, especially during life transitions. Start with a 1-hour Realignment Session.

Pin this post if you’re ready to stop managing time and start honoring your rhythm

Modern rest is often shallow—optimized but not nourishing. And if you’re like many of the women I support, you’ve tried all the typical strategies: bubble baths, a digital detox, maybe even a wellness retreat. But the fatigue returns. Quickly.

I’m a professor, and my life tends to be pretty hectic during the [fall and spring] semester. So, in May when the semester ended, I gave myself a week to unwind. That week flew by! And I still felt drained even after that break… 

If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, here’s what might be happening:

The Real Reason You’re Still Tired

1. You’re mentally overextended, not just physically.

You wake up every day and walk into a wall of tasks that you don’t want to do. Plus, everyone else’s expectations and your own spiraling thoughts are swirling around in your head. 

This type of cognitive load doesn’t go away with a nap.

2. Your “rest” is performative.

If your rest still centers productivity—”rest so you can do more work”—you’re not restoring. You’re still operating from a model of: overworking now=justification to rest and have fun later.

3. You’re out of alignment with your actual needs.

Rest isn’t just about sleep. It’s about reconnection—with your rhythms, your values, and your evolving identity.

What to Do Instead

• Start with realignment, not performance.
  
• Ask: What does my body need? What emotions have I ignored this week?
  
• Let your rest be inefficient.

Ready to reset for real?

Grab a free copy of the Daily Self-Care Plan for small rituals you can follow throughout the day to feel more grounded and supported.

Pin this post to remind yourself that real rest starts with reconnection.

Women are taught to chase alignment like it’s a finish line. But true alignment isn’t something you check off—it’s something you tend to.

I remember when I was in the second year of my PhD program, and I saw a meme that resonated with me SO deeply. It said something to the effect, “as a PhD student everyone in your life thinks you’re this overachiever while you feel like a failure who is getting nowhere.” 

At the time, I had 3 kids under the age of 4, and I remember feeling so alone and overwhelmed. 

I felt like I was on an endless hamster wheel of responsibilities.

But from the outside looking in, I was this fearless mom, wife, and PhD student, who was showing the girls that women can do and have everything!

The discrepancy between how I felt and what my life looked like to outsiders was a sign that I was out of alignment. 

Many of us end up in similar situations, but we don’t always realize how much we are struggling.

Let’s talk about the quiet signs that you might be out of sync—and how to come back to yourself.

Signs You’re Out of Alignment

1. You’re constantly irritated or overstimulated.
   Even small things feel like too much. You might find yourself snapping at your children if you’re a mom. Or, you might find that you can’t even respond to text messages from friends and family because it just feels like one more thing that you have to do.
   
2. You’ve lost your “why”.
   You’re going through the motions, but joy is nowhere in the mix. You feel like you have to fulfill all these obligations and meet expectations from your supervisor, clients, or even your family. You don’t feel connected to your work, and you’re probably questioning what decisions in your life led you to this point.
   
3. You’re fantasizing about escaping your responsibilities.
   (Not in a dreamy, vacation way—but in a “what if I disappeared for a month, so  I don’t have to do any of this?” way.) If you feel like you need to escape from the never-ending tasks that you have to fulfill, this is a tell-tale sign that you need to reevaluate how you’re spending your time and the direction of your life. (This can also be a concerning sign of deteriorating mental health, so it’s important to reach out to a licensed mental health professional for additional support.)
4. You’re second-guessing everything.
   Even small decisions feel paralyzing. This can stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and/or what you’re doing. If we are grounded and confident in the path that we’ve chosen, it’s easier to move forward decisively.
   

The Soft Reset: What to Do

• Audit your energy, not just your schedule.
  Where are the energetic leaks? What tasks make you feel energized? What tasks do you dread? Can you craft your schedule more intentionally?
  
• Rebuild your week around values, not urgency.
  What would your ideal week feel like? What tasks do you feel obligated to do? Are there ways you can break up these tasks or things you can do simultaneously to make them feel like less of a chore? (For example, you might watch Love Island while you’re running on a treadmill.)
  
• Try a guided realignment ritual.
  Even 10 minutes of intentional grounding can change your internal pace. There have been times where my mood and brain felt SO heavy that I had to do a “brain dump,” which gave me almost instant relief. Powerful transformations can happen when you have the courage to audit your time, life, and energy.

Want help with this?
Book a Realignment Session, a value-packed 1-on-1 call where we uncover what’s feeling off, clarify what matters most right now, and create a simple path forward that feels calm, clear, and sustainable.

Save this post for your next overwhelmed week.

Chapters

00:00 Journey to Medicine: Early Influences and Decisions
02:11 Navigating the Medical Field: Challenges and Transitions
07:43 The Importance of Self-Care and Personal Development
15:31 Overcoming Fear: The Role of Community and Coaching
20:58 Finding Purpose: The Ripple Effect of Personal Growth
26:07 Quality Questions: Shaping Our Lives
29:18 A Weekend for Me: Retreats for Professional Women
39:51 Event Planning: Creating Meaningful Experiences

Takeaways

• Dr. Sherita emphasizes the importance of community support for women.
• Self-care is essential for maintaining balance in life.
• Asking quality questions can lead to a more fulfilling life.
• It’s okay to pivot and change directions in your career.
• Women often feel the pressure to be ‘superwomen’ but need to prioritize their well-being.
• Retreats provide a space for self-discovery and reflection.
• Fear is a natural part of change, but it can be managed.
• Recognizing your worth is crucial for personal growth.
• Event planning allows for the creation of meaningful experiences.
• You have the power to define your own life and choices.

Connect with Dr. Sherita
Website: https://bossladydreambuilders.com
Facebook: Sherita Gaskins-Tillett
Instagram: https://instagram.com/drsheritadgtob

In this episode, Dr. Shanice Jones Cameron talks with Dr. Mary Alice Mina, a dermatologist and skincare expert. Dr. Mina shares her journey into dermatology and her passion for educating the public about skin health. She debunks the myth that sunscreen causes cancer and emphasizes the significance of prevention in skincare routines, particularly for those in their 20s. For people in their 30s and 40s, she recommends focusing on a solid skincare routine, incorporating vitamin C serum, and retinol. For women in their 40s, she suggests modifying diet and boosting collagen to prepare for the decline that comes with menopause.

Dr. Mina also discusses the different skin types and provides a simple skincare routine for each type. She also highlights the connection between skincare and overall health, including the impact of stress, inflammation, and lifestyle choices on the skin. She also shares what she does for self-care!

Takeaways

• Skincare routines can be simple and affordable, consisting of a gentle cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen.
• There are five main skin types: normal, oily, dry, sensitive, and combination. Understanding your skin type can help you choose the right products.
• It’s important to be skeptical of skincare information and consider the credentials and motivations of the source.
• Skin health is not just about aesthetics; it is a form of healthcare that should be prioritized. Balance skincare needs with personal goals
• Prevention is key in skincare routines
• Incorporate vitamin C serum and retinol in the 30s and 40s
• Modify diet and boost collagen in the 40s
• Consider the connection between skincare and overall health

Connect with Dr. Mina

• Create Skincare Habits that Help You Glow: https://www.theskinreal.com/habits
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drminaskin
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drminaskin
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@drminaskin
• Titktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drminaskin
• Medium: https://medium.com/@drminaskin
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drminaskin/
• Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/06k6qtsxj4uvtpulz6w5ghdc8l2gwo/
• Website: https://www.theskinreal.com/

The Skin Real Podcast

• Podcast: https://theskinreal.podbean.com/
• Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-skin-real/id1638619358
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6fusqoOa7ghC7MNy27Payd
• Podbean: https://theskinreal.podbean.com/
• Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-skin-real/id1638619358
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6fusqoOa7ghC7MNy27Payd

In this episode, Dr. Shanice Jones Cameron talks with Michelle West, a health and fitness coach and Broadway performer. Michelle shares her journey of balancing fitness, wellness, and a career in Broadway. She discusses the multi-dimensional aspects of self-care, the pressures of body image in the performing arts, and the importance of reframing setbacks as part of the journey. The conversation covers the challenges of healthy eating, strategies for breaking unhealthy eating habits, and the importance of self-love and lifestyle change in achieving fitness and nutrition goals.

00:00 – Introduction to Michelle West and Her Journey

03:00 – Balancing Broadway and Barbells

24:10 – Reframing Setbacks: Navigating Body Image in the Performing Arts

31:35 – Navigating Healthy Eating Challenges

37:20 – Breaking Unhealthy Eating Habits

43:51 – The Role of Self-Love in Fitness and Nutrition Goals

  Let’s Connect:

Website: https://herguidedevolution.com

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@herguidedevolution
Instagram: https://instagram.com/herguidedevolution

Connect with Michelle

Website: https://bianutrition.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chelleywest/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/michellewestimi
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chelleywestw

  Free Resources:
FREE Quiz: What is Your Self-Care Personality? https://herguidedevolution.com/quiz/
FREE Daily Self-Care Plan: https://herguidedevolution.com/plan
FREE Journal Prompts: https://herguidedevolution.com/4

In this episode, Shanice Jones Cameron, Ph.D. and Rhodes Blake, discuss the challenges and experiences of working full-time, managing a side business, fitting in creative self-care, all while being a mom with young children. As an elopement photographer, Rhodes discusses the motivations behind eloping, the challenges of planning a traditional wedding, and the freedom and reduced stress of elopement. She also gives us valuable insights on hiring a photographer and the significance of open communication and rapport during a photo shoot. Rhodes also shares her unexpected journey into photography, and they also talk about the need for creative self-care as well as the importance of being present, and giving yourself grace in motherhood.

Takeaways

• Eloping offers freedom and reduced stress compared to traditional wedding planning.
• Open communication and rapport with a photographer are essential for capturing authentic moments.
• Creative self-care is an important aspect of personal well-being and should be pursued regardless of age or societal expectations.
• The realities of motherhood, especially raising multiple young children, come with unique challenges and experiences. Balancing work and family as a working mom is a significant challenge, and it’s important to find ways to be present in both roles.
• Self-care and giving oneself grace are essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being while managing the demands of work and family.
• Establishing a schedule and being intentional about free time can help working moms find balance and create space for personal growth and creative passions.
• The constant demand of giving to others as a working mom can lead to burnout, making self-care and breaks essential for maintaining a healthy balance.
• Community support and finding a network of like-minded individuals can provide working moms with the encouragement and understanding they need to navigate the challenges of motherhood and career.

  Show Notes

https://herguidedevolution.com/momsandcreativeselfcare

  Let’s Connect:

Website: https://herguidedevolution.comYoutube: https://youtube.com/@herguidedevolution
Instagram: https://instagram.com/herguidedevolution

Connect with Rhodes

Website: https://www.rhodesblakephotography.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhodesblakephotography/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rhodesblakephotography

  Free Resources:

FREE Quiz: What is Your Self-Care Personality? https://herguidedevolution.com/quiz/
FREE Daily Self-Care Plan: https://herguidedevolution.com/plan
FREE Journal Prompts: https://herguidedevolution.com/4

Dr. Zarya Rubin, a Harvard-educated functional medicine physician and burnout expert, shares her journey and the connection between early childhood trauma and burnout. She notes that burnout is characterized by extreme tiredness, cynicism, and decreased productivity. Early childhood trauma can increase the risk of developing burnout later in life. We also learn that the mind-body connection is crucial in understanding burnout and its physical impact. According to Dr. Zarya, functional medicine takes a holistic approach, considering the whole person and the interconnectedness of body systems. It focuses on achieving health and balance by addressing the root cause of symptoms. Functional medicine also emphasizes personalized care, taking into account an individual’s genetic makeup, biochemistry, and other factors. Dr. Zarya also shares practical (and brilliant!) advice on what we can do to reduce our risk of burnout, so be sure to listen to the end!

Let’s Connect:

Youtube: https://youtube.com/@herguidedevolution
Instagram: https://instagram.com/herguidedevolution

Connect with Dr. Zarya

Instagram: www.instagram.com/drzaryarubin
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drzaryarubin/
Facebook Private Women’s Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/268114707221770/
Newsletter: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttobalance
TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/xfubAfgkUzE?si=E9VwHS7uR6UtfNvn

Free Resources:

FREE Quiz: What is Your Self-Care Personality? https://herguidedevolution.com/quiz/
FREE Daily Self-Care Plan: https://herguidedevolution.com/plan
FREE Journal Prompts: https://herguidedevolution.com/4

In this conversation, Dr. Shanice Jones Cameron interviews Jen Fontanilla, a money mindset coach, about her journey and the intersection of money, finance, and creativity. Jen shares her experience transitioning from a career in graphic design to becoming a financial advisor and how she helps creatives break through the stereotype of the starving artist. They discuss the concept of money stories and the importance of being conscious of how we talk about money, especially in front of children. Jen also provides actionable tips for parents to shape their children’s perspectives on money. In this conversation, Jen Fontanilla, a money mindset coach, shares her insights on teaching children about money. She discusses the importance of instilling a healthy outlook on money and how to navigate financial conversations with children. Jen emphasizes the need for children to see physical money and understand where it comes from. She also shares her personal journey as a mother and co-parent, highlighting the challenges she faced and the importance of positive communication about money. Overall, the conversation provides valuable advice for parents on teaching children about money.

Takeaways

Creativity and finance can intersect, and it is possible to build wealth while pursuing artistic passions.
Money stories, which are beliefs and ideologies about money that we inherit from childhood, shape our relationship with money.
It is important to be conscious of how we talk about money, especially in front of children, as it influences their money stories and beliefs.
Parents can shape their children’s perspectives on money by speaking about money in an abundance mindset and avoiding judgmental comments.
Taking care of oneself and finding a balance between work and rest is crucial for long-term success and a healthy relationship with money. Instill a healthy outlook on money in children by teaching them the value of saving, investing, and giving.
Children should see physical money and understand where it comes from to avoid a misconception that money comes from thin air.
Positive communication about money is crucial in co-parenting situations to avoid conflicts and provide a healthy financial environment for children.
Teach children about opportunity cost and the importance of making informed decisions about spending and saving.
Create an environment where children feel comfortable asking questions and having open discussions about money.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Journey
03:03 The Intersection of Money and Creativity
08:18 Understanding Money Stories
12:05 Challenging the Hustle Culture
24:44 Teaching Kids about Money
25:38 Teaching Children the Value of Saving, Investing, and Giving
26:34 The Importance of Physical Money and Understanding its Source
27:52 Navigating Financial Conversations in Co-Parenting
29:38 Understanding Opportunity Cost and Making Informed Decisions
30:33 Creating an Environment for Open Discussions About Money

Let’s Connect:

Youtube: https://youtube.com/@herguidedevolution

Instagram: https://instagram.com/herguidedevolution

Connect with Jen

Website – www.jenmoneycoach.com
Instagram – @jenmoneycoach
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenmoneycoach/

Free Resources:

FREE Quiz: What is Your Self-Care Personality? https://herguidedevolution.com/quiz/
FREE Daily Self-Care Plan: https://herguidedevolution.com/plan
FREE Journal Prompts: https://herguidedevolution.com/4